From D&C: Loyal Listeners and Superior Blog Readers

Cat Shit Cookies

Martha Stewart be damned -- since FDeC was on a shit rant yesterday he might want to try these...

Here is a recipe for cookies that look like cats shit (rolled in Grape Nuts, which makes lovely fake kitty litter.)

There are two flavors: chocolate (dark brown), or gingerbread (light brown).

I seldom measured carefully, so the amounts may need adjustment, especially on flavoring.The cookies are dense and not very sweet; this is necessary so that they will keep their shape during baking. If you use white flour or sugar, they may be tastier but they won't look like cat shit.

Chocolate ingredients:

1/2 cup honey

2/3 cup (1 and 1/3 stick) butter, margarine, or lard

1 egg

1 tsp vanilla or peppermint extract

2 cups whole wheat flour

1/3 cup cocoa powder

Grape Nuts cereal

Gingerbread ingredients:

1/4 cup honey

1/4 cup molasses

2/3 cup (1 & a 3rd stick) butter or margarine, or lard

1 egg

2 and 1/3 cups whole wheat flour

spices: ginger, cinnamon, cloves to taste (maybe 1/2 tsp each)

grapenuts(tm) cereal

Mix-ins (optional):

Coconut = tapeworms (a favorite)

Chocolate chips = poop chunks!

Butterscotch chips = diarrhea!

Peanut butter chips = diarrhea!

Cooked spagetti or ramen noodles = roundworms

Corn = self explanatory

Peanuts = chunks

M&Ms = decoration(?)

To make:

Microwave the honey till it bubbles (about 1 minute). Add the butter, (I've been told using lard makes for a more realistic texture and softer cookie) and the molasses, if any. Add the egg, mix well, then mix in all the other stuff. Add mix-ins of your choice to some or all of the batter.

Chill 1 hour in the freezer or several hours in the fridge. Roll dough logs of random length and the diameter of cat poops. Roll logs in Grape Nuts and bake at 350 degrees till done (about 20 minutes, but this varies so watch them.)

Serve in a disposable cat litter box on a bed of grapenuts, with a cat litter scoop.You can get lovely effects by decorating the box and scoop with melted chocolate or pudding.

Brown sugar might work as a substitute for clumping litters... Mixing brown sugar with the grapenuts sweetens up the cookie a bit while still looking truly hideous.

*Thanks Guys*