Trucker Glen (from "Hollyweird")... is everyone else getting laid but him? Nope! Poor poor Jim isn't getting any either! Seems Glen enjoys chasing the blonds... cuz his wife wants him to exercise!
Paul From Mass... (and the villagers rejoiced!) --- He's got a life, and can't listen the whole time today. Plugging the "triplets porn site"... (no pun intended)... he's got Frank worked up in a froth... Frank is anxiously awaiting the opportunity to get on the site immediately... if not sooner!
CR in PA... Paul needs to know how to pack things in his anus better... and not spill all that colon juice... CLICK!!!... dial tone... Doria was NOT amused!
Lynn from Pitts... 2 things that are gay... her and her brother... and her brothers orchid field... Yeaop! Sounds pretty gay to us! and for some reason Frank has "writers envy"...hmmm...how could he? Has any one seen him write lately?
Trucker Robert... is white water rafting spontaneously... in Colorado... and loving every minute of it! And Doria approves! Frank would rather be at the mall... who would have guessed?
Steve in Denver... "Good morning ladies and gentleman" he addresses them... "aka Frank and Doria... respectively"... he would rather be naked at the hot springs in Colorado... the best places to meet hot guys! Literally!
Jeremiah in Maryland ... why white water rafting in the AM... if you fall out... they have all day to find your ass... (who has trouble finding Frank's ass?)
(Brian from Pitts?)...something about Iron Man / Hulk t-shirts for 14 year olds... Frank and Doria "CR'ed" him pronto! ouch! the truth... it hurts us!!!
Ben in Phoenix... his friend was living in We-ho... late night dinner at a BBQ... went to an all purpose grocery store... Paul Lynde jumps out from a limo ...in a caftan... shouts "i have to buy food for the kitties!"... yet another opportunity for Frank to practice his Paul Lynde impersonation... with limited success... eh... maybe not so much.
Jared in Los Angeles ... Re: Breakfast with Scott (the movie being shown at OutFest)... and apparently he bares some resemblance to Paul Lynde... the film will be available on DVD on March 18... a mistake or a conspiracy? You be the judge... Frank wants to hear him say "I have to buy cat food for the kitties!" Jared wants to know if Frank is going to "Milk"... we assume the ice cream shop, not the sexual act.
Frank PLEADS for callers to call in and say "I have to buy cat food for the kitties!" in their best Paul Lynde voice...
Greg's impersonation... dead on... hmmm... then again.... maybe not... (a new bot!?!?)
Chris in New Orleans... can Frank see his own cock? yeaop! Even if it is with a mirror... and he can even see his ass using 3 mirrors... is Frank exercising?? Uh-kay... what kind of question is that? Chris thinks Frank should to push ups to get rid of his "man boobs"... but... alas... the fight is a loosing one... poor young naive Chris.
Greg in PA... can't do Paul Lynde.,.. but CAN do his version of Doria... "I swear to god frank if you don't shut up i'm gonna fuck ya!"... hmmm... Doria thought... "dead on"... with some tone of sarcasm...and we agree.
Barbara in Allentown... chipper as always, and encouraging Frank to keep up the good work with his weight loss. She's got a snazzy new job, one that doesn't encourage them to listen to Frank... who could blame them! ... But If she stops listening, their numbers will be down to the single digits again!
Marty in Vegas...asks if Frank and Jim are going to Vegas to see Bette??? Nope... but the end of the summer for Cher... if you're going to spend a summer sweltering in Vegas... Cher is a good reason! And Marty saw "Toni Basil" (oh Mickey you're so fine!)... c'mon! Don't act like you don't remember her!!!
Lisa in Los Angeles... talking about the Mamma Mia production... was there a gay father character? Could be! But that makes this event MORE gay! Frank hopes she'll join them at Out Fest... look for the sour lesbian and adorable fat man... who could disagree?
Brian in Philly... Lamented his youthful days visa vie the "Toni Basil" references!
The Jokes
8:00 - 11:00... lets just say... Franks show was more "fun" than "funny"...
We love Frank... even on days when he's a little drier than usual!
The Bots
- "That doesn't look very appetizing"... for Franks chest hair... or slightly less there of...who could resist munching off of Frank's chest?!?!?
- "Doria bot --- Jokes like that that make me go home and drink!" --- but then again... what doesn't make our Doria go home and drink?"
- Stewie: Dirty Dirty Girl!" --- for Frank being a "dick reader" (as in palm reader)... don't be so jealous!
- "Random woman scream" --- for "breed specific deaths"... hmmm... we weren't screaming yesterday! We were laughing!
- "Rodney Dangerfield: --- Hey everybody! We're going to get laid!" ... IF ONLY!!!!
- "Break" bot... keeping the gang on their toes as always!... but the show continued anyways... Celebrity birthdays!!! The part of the show we ALL live for!!
- "Zzzzz"... bot... indeed!!... "Iron man t-shirt diatribes are NOT for the faint of heart!"
- Kids rejoice"... oh yey! Frank is down 37 pounds from Weight Watchers!... now he's just "fat"... instead of "faaaaaaaaaat!!!!"
- "You gotta gay up everything!" --- (for the Mamma Mia movie)... Yeaop! Mamma Mia + ABBA = VERY gay!
The commercials
Barracuda network manager... keeping porno at bay... why would they want to block Frank's show prep?
The only thing gayer than Out Q 109... Abba channel 3! (can't get enough of it!)
Credit card debt... something Frank is INTIMATELY familiar with!
Identity theft... the only way Frank is going to be (mis)taken for a celebrity!
Worry yourself sick, beat yourself up? Put your self down?... naw... Frank's not doing that! That's Doria's job! (ha! ha!)
Mamma Mia...mamma mia we do love this movie!
App River... no junk mail??? What will Frank do? that's the only mail Frank gets!
Something about "get rich quick"... hmmm... after today's show material... Frank may want to check in to some of these!
Credit card relief... what about comedy relief??
Diana Cage's breast are like the giving tree! Ohh... I'm pretty sure most lesbians would only agree!
Work from home... oh sure! That's ALL Frank needs to hear! So he can be even lazier and do even less work than he did before!
The End --- ? ---
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment